Monday, October 30, 2006

Fields of Promise 5k

Registered my husband and I for a 5k Run (I will be walking) that benefits orphans in Ethiopia. After the run, the adoption group is meeting from church. It will be a day of learning about orphans!

I have been walking at 5am most mornings with a friend, last week it was only 1 day due to the rain. This coming week we should be purchasing a used treadmill.

I haven't weighed myself lately, I really don't want to see it! I am just praying that God would take away this desire to eat whenever I'm depressed or anxious.

My husband might be playing basketball tonight w/ the men's group. We have our budget to work on. Yesterday I did a bunch of laundry and paid bills. When did becoming an adult be so boring?

This is getting harder and harder to keep plugging away when month after month there is this roller coster of anticipation, a couple weeks of waiting, and then disappointment. We've tried all sorts of crazy "home methods" and "old wives tales," and we'll continue to do so. Nothing else to do while we're waiting to move into a bigger house, as we've decided we're not going to start filling out paperwork until we've moved. I have being so happy and hoping and then so disappointed. I just wish I could turn my emotions off or I wish I could be told that we're infertile, but there is nothing wrong, nothing to fix. It's just waiting, and when we get tired of waiting and nothing has happened, it's moving on to the next step.

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Saturday, October 28, 2006

very depressed day...

I have been so very sad today. Until I found googlism on one of my sister's old blogs...

Made me smile!

Googlism for: jessie

jessie is a sweet bright lady
jessie is here
jessie is in the scrapbook
jessie is 10
jessie is happy again
jessie is a sweet
jessie is unstoppable
jessie is five
jessie is happy again it's just good to know you all are improving over there
jessie is capable of handling multiple executable commands simultaneously
jessie is also capable of handling multiple executable commands simultaneously
jessie is a profound master artist
jessie is upset because arbok is hurt and she saying "move that raticate he wants to bite our arbok" and look where james's hand is
jessie is a native of my hometown of prescott
jessie is
jessie is weakening
jessie is adorable
jessie is a cowgirl
jessie is a light colored neutered male
jessie is human
jessie is big on color
jessie is in need of a loving home in oh
jessie is creating a buzz within industry circles
jessie is actually fleurette's half
jessie is a *legend* between my sister and i
jessie is thirty
jessie is appointed department spokesperson
jessie is a full
jessie is a little perturbed by charlie's behaviour
jessie is charming young jessie
jessie is a flexible
jessie is being watched by the neighbors
jessie is obsessed with herself
jessie is hott
jessie is aware of things around him
jessie is at home
jessie is brave
jessie is travelling through
jessie is an approximately 5 year old neutered male border collie
jessie is a 2 year old bassethound/ labrador/something mix
jessie is an outstanding example of the german shepherd dog
jessie is kidnapped and begins the most horrendous adventure of his young life
jessie is now a hospital administrator at the very hospital jarrett works
jessie is having done in pre
jessie is scheduled to be spayed on sept
jessie is the focus of the majority of her own statements
jessie is your local
jessie is a bacon nut

New church adoption group

November 11th our church is holding a 5k Run sponsoring Zicker Family missions (on my blogroll to the left) supporting orphans in Ethiopia. After the 5k run, a group of families from our church is going to discuss adoption. S., someone I've talked with off and on the past couple of years, is going to be one of the speakers on her adoption story. She and her husband adopted 2 girls from China.

S. came up to me at the women's brunch today just to make sure I knew about the meeting as I've been asking her a lot of questions. So, I am very excited about our church starting this "Heart of adoption" discussion time and group.

[the following is taken from my church's bulletin]

This coincides also with Family Life and Focus on the Family have teamed up with Shaohannah's hope as one voice to call the body of Christ to care for orphans. During the week of November 13th-17th both radio programs will be discussing adoption and orphans. They have also launched a new website,

So, as we're gathering all our paperwork and gleaming information, I think this will be a good time. Waiting is difficult. At the women's brunch today there were 2 women with very young babies. I know it was selfish of me, but I had to get out of there. Lately, I've had a hard time talking with or seeing people with young babies. I guess I would have expected to be a mom by now, and it's difficult to watch people younger, or my age, with children.

However, the whole point of the brunch today was that life doesn't always turn out the way that we want it to. If God calls us through certain trials or certain circumstances, those are ours to bear. It is all meant to glorify Him and draw us closer to Him. Doesn't always mean it's going to be easy, but that is what He requires of us. The speaker played a Ginny Owen song today, and the lyrics are as follows:

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

It's such a pretty song, and it expresses a lot of the hurts we go through that we really don't understand. If that's what God requires of us, however, we need to be willing to go through it.

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Friday, October 20, 2006

waiting much of this kid stuff is just waiting? plugging along with normal life, then waiting....forging ahead a little more and waiting some more.

Things are on hold until we get moved to a bigger home closer to our jobs. Monday my hubby and I start our new jobs....we'll get to car pool together! We'll get to see each other so much we'll get sick of one another!!

I'm so excited and nervous. I can see growth and some things are "crossed off the list." I guess I'm impatient and wish the rest of it could get crossed off!

I gained some weight this week. BLAH. Friend of my husband is selling us his treadmill, I can't wait for that. How awesome would it be to use the treadmill while watching tv?

Monday I start walking with a friend every day at 5am. I am praying for lots of days of good makes exercise so much easier to do it with a friend rather than alone!

Friday, October 13, 2006

madonna adopted

I just heard a blurb about Madonna adopting. Do celebrities just pay people off to get children? (ie Angelina Jolie). It just seems like they suddenly go to a foreign country and pick up a child. Do they have to do all the paperwork, all the background checks, etc. to get approved to adopt? Or do they just get to do it?

On the braces thing, it's a medical deal because I have been grinding my teeth at night which is causing pain and headaches and the dentist thinks straigtening my teeth will help. It may not solve it, if it doesn't, I may need a mouthguard anyway. So, I'll have to see!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


found out at dentist that I may need braces. stressed out about this! My first appointment is November 16th (I think).

Man. I wish I played the lottery.

I'm out!


Sunday, October 08, 2006


I sorta surprised my husband by ordering catalogs from a slew of adoption agencies. (I think I at least have gotten 2 or 3 different ones)

My husband called me and left me a cell phone message saying "You've been a busy little bee!" He was a little bit hurt that I didn't talk to him about it first...but I've been tired of waiting! I guess I think about adoption all the time (or I think I've told him things that I actually haven't). I have conversations with him in my head that I haven't actually had with him, so it creates interesting mixups in our marriage sometimes.

I promised him I wouldn't fill out the applications without him or bring home any children without his consent.

I know time flies by, but I can't wait until we can buy a bigger house and really start ACTING on adoption agencies, etc. I know it's going to be a bit of a wait, so I want to learn as much as I can now, so that when we move we can have our new address to start filling out all the paperwork.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

telling people "we're adopting"

I am probably jumping the gun, but I am starting to tell people when they ask me what's going on (and old friend emailed me.) That my husband and I are moving next spring and then we're going to pursue adoption.

It kind of puts butterflies in my stomach, because I think "How will they react?", "Is this a for sure thing?"

How did you tell people you were adopting? Did you tell people right away at the beginning, or wait until the process was almost complete??

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

step toward the process!

Hubby and I decided that we will be leaving Lawrence and moving to Olathe where we both will work. I have lived in Lawrence since 1999 when I graduated college, so I think it will be a little sad to leave. Especially to leave our church!

Well, we aren't moving tomorrow or anything, but we will be moving next Spring, which is soon enough.

I can't wait to move because I know that will really be the BEGINNING of homestudies and looking at adoption just seems like it's taken so darn long to GET to that point!

I am really not looking forward to painting the whole house. I like painting, but not housepainting everything white. Bleh.