Saturday, May 20, 2006

baby for sale on ebay?

On last night's news I heard about someone who was trying to sell a child on ebay or on the internet. Anyone heard about that story? Know anything about it?

I am NOT looking to purchase a child on ebay. Just wondering about the story or if I had not heard correctly.

another cycle

I am anxious for May 30th to get here, to at least get the process started, and to see what the next step is. I want a to-do list, and I know it's not that simple!

We are trying to clean and reorganize our house. We've done chunks of it over time, but we have a lot of old papers and old keepsakes that we just need to get rid of. I'm looking for websites and books that teach about housecleaning and house organization. I think that's a goal of mine for the year 2006!

Times in my married life I've prayed through Psalm 31...that I would be more disciplined, more hard working, more organized in my home life. I know that's hard to do when one works full time, but I know it's possible. I see a lot of women who make their homes pretty, simple, and inviting...and I'm praying that for myself and our house. I LIKE cleaning and I LIKE organizing, but I still feel overwhelmed and frustrated very easily. It seems as if I miss a day I get behind, and so I ignore house cleaning for a week or two, and then it really adds does one keep up?

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

11 pounds and counting

Just wanted to report I've lost 11 pounds.

That is all.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Fertility sticks and Mother's day

I am out of fertility testing sticks...they are expensive as all get-out, so I'm skipping them for a while. I'm just holding out and not worrying about it until my appointment on May 30th. How long does one go down this road before you say "enough is enough? I'm done with this fertility business." I guess I am more interested in how folks foster adopt or adopt their children. I listen when people tell me their birthing stories, but I REALLY enjoy hearing how God orchestrates adoptions. I feel as if it's such a scary, difficult, worthwhile process that isn't for the faint-hearted. I still remember the gal from church saying "adoption is great for some people, but you need to realize nothing is the same as birthing your own child." Now, I understand where she is coming from: what she was trying to express is that women shouldn't adopt just expecting that it takes away from the grief of not being able to birth your own child. I know there is and will be things to mourn: baby showers, gifts, going to the hospital and bringing a new baby home...sharing in the common birth story that most women get to experience. However, it seems there is a lot to be said for taking a baby out of a bad situation, or giving parents to an orphan, or giving up some part of "normal procedure" so a child can have a good home. We have a crib in our basement, and I think sometimes "Will I even get to use that crib?" Because in our state, the current waiting list for foster adoptive kids is 6 and older, not a lot of babies for placement. If we bring a ten year old into our lives, that will throw us into another category of parents (ie, we could have birthed this child when we were 19!). It's a family joke that my husband looks exactly like his mother when he wears his glasses a certain way. If we are unable to have our own children, that will be something we'll miss out on. Our children will not look like us. Family members and friends that we've shared this with have said they will love our adopted kids the same. I feel this unspoken tension "However, that's only after you do everything medically possible to birth your own children." I don't know if it's society or what-- adoption only comes after years of misfires. However, I have always felt that if we can't birth a child I want to skip right to adoption. I have wanted to skip a lot of doctor's appointments and this medical leave and all this junk. However, I guess I have to go through with it to make sure I don't have any kind of serious medical condition. I just don't know when that point is...when do you finally say "I'm out! I'm done! Enough of this fertility treatment stuff...." I was ready to quit the fertility treatment before I started. I feel as if May 30th is the departure day from which all this begins. I wish it was over already. It will be good to have our friends stay with us the weekend after, even if it is only a whirlwind visit.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

How firm a foundation

I have been trying to listen to hymns and really listening and studying the words. They are full of good doctrine and encouragement for difficult times.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake.

Please pray for a friend of mine who is going through difficult times: pray that she would know Christ is her firm foundation.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

doctor appointments FMLA Leave

Set up with work to get what is called intermitent FMLA leave. Talked with my supervisor last week about the possible need to be gone off and on for infertility treatments. She suggested the best thing to do to protect my job would be to go on FMLA leave. My doctor fills out paperwork, and then I just let my job know when I'm gone for the leave.

My first appointment is on May 30th with an endocrinologist and I have missplaced all the paperwork I need to fill out! I am usually more organized, but lately my brain has been scattered. I have not been as upset about needing to deal with infertility: I have been more upset about my weight and what I need to do to change my lifestyle and habits. I haven't been losing more weight, holding steady at 9 pounds.

A good friend of mine from church (my husband and I babysat their kids quite a bit) has a reoccurance of cancer that is in her bones and liver. I pray that God would strengthen E. and give her hope to get through this. I imagine that having cancer in the bones would be very difficult to treat.

Very excited! Found out for sure that our friends from Illinois can come visit us with their family in the beginning of June. That will be an awesome time. Will be great to have kids in the house (oh, and to see the parents too, of course!)