Nothing.....but a decision!

As far as the fertility specialist can tell, I don't have blocked tubes or anything that showed up on the x-ray. The doctor thinks that I'm ovulating just fine because of the urine tests we take at home; if I weren't ovulating the tests wouldn't work. So, we've decided not to proceed with the artificial insemination. We will just continue to use our ovulation "computer" and urine tests and try to conceive. At the same time, since we haven't been using any birth control for 3 years now, we are going to proceed with adoption.

My husband is beginning to do some research. Some of our friends from church (I don't have a link up yet..but I will soon) are traveling to Ethiopia Sunday to help with an orphanage there. They have already adopted a child from there, so I jokingly asked her to bring us back a baby. Hubby did mention he does feel led to adopt from China or a local, domestic adoption, so I'm not sure where God is leading. I don't know if foster care is a way to adopt that we want to pursue, there are a lot of pros and cons out there. I think we're going to look into meeting with someone who can guide us on how to do home studies and what the costs are for domestic adoption.

Tie-Dye!

Today we met with the fertility specialist. Very nice doctor, he explained all the procedures up front. We did explain we didn't feel comfortable with Invitro fertilization. However, there are some procedures that involve taking fertility drugs and having, basically, artificial insemination. There doesn't seem to be any moral quandry with those procedures, no eggs are taken out, just the sperm is deposited further up in the uterus so they are closer to the eggs.
Tomorrow at 11:30 I go in for a dye procedure to see if there is anything blocked or if I do have endimitriosis. I am assuming I don't, but you never know, he did say some women have it without having any pain.
The next step would be a more surgical procedure where they would actually go inside with a scope and try to repair something if there is an issue. That would have to be scheduled next month, immediately after my period, as they don't want to do that procedure in case I might be pregnant. I will have a blood pregnancy test tomorrow before this first procedure, just to be sure.
I have a hard time talking to my husband about all these things and what I'm feeling. I am praying that I will be able to discuss this with him and get some closure on what we're going to be doing about all this.

Anchor

I cancelled my appointment today with the naturopathic doctor...I am very stressed about money, and though I would like to use natural medicine, I think I would rather spend money on an actual fertility specialist. I want to find out if there is something seriously wrong first (ie, blocked fallopian tube, cysts, etc.) After that is ruled out, I would feel comfortable going back to the naturopathic doctor for natural hormone replacement rather than shots. I am just concerned there may be something serious.

A friend of a friend was going through infertility treatment and they found cancer, so I guess I just want to rule any of that out, even though blood work has been normal. I am praying for a promotion; we're going to need to make more money to continue to get out of debt and to keep saving for a baby, either through medical treatment or adoption.

I have been convicted as well about my lack of consistent quiet times lately. I have heard a lot of Christians talk about the importance of devotionals or quiet times. Most recently, Jim Ryun and his sons were guests on FamilyLifeToday and he acknowledged the importance of daily times with Lord. (listen to it here) What am I spending my time on? What am I worried about? Where I am I going with my life? I have to make sure those questions are in order, nothing else matters in the eternity of things.

why don't friends call back?

I have a friend that I'm really worried about. I have left multiple messages with no return call. The one time I've seen her since March has been when I stopped un-announced at her home.

Note to all my friends: Call me back! If you don't like me and don't want to be my friend, tell me!

I don't take hints very well. I'm going to keep leaving messages. Next step is writing notes. Next step is another surprise visit to make sure you're still alive.

Sharing and all my free time

Made an appointment today for July 24th to see a fertility specialist in Olathe, Kansas. My next visit with the naturopathic doctor is Tuesday, July 11th.

As I've been sharing with people, other women have shared their fertility struggles and it seems to be a lot more common than I once thought. I've had nothing but supportive comments and kind words from people when I share, though when people ask "Do you have kids?" or "When are you planning on having kids?" I really have to weigh what I'm going to say. Most times, if I don't know the person very well, I just say "not yet." If it's someone from church that may know what is going on I share a little bit.

I keep plugging away at information regarding adoption but I feel there are a few more "hurdles" we have to jump through before we begin the adoption process. I have talked to folks about adoption, but we really haven't begun the process or gotten any further in it. At our church there is the very beginning of an adoption support group, so I just feel very lucky that our church has a lot of members that have adopted, so we wouldn't be going through that alone.
My husband did share that he would prefer to adopt a baby (as opposed to an older child), which is something we've never talked about before.

I am reading a book called "Overcoming Infertility". I have been looking for a book like this that just educates on the different causes of infertility, the treatments, and I think I just want to feel more educated in talking with doctors.

I am doing okay. I just feel as if there are a few other things we want to try, but then once we've tried those things I think we'll have another family meeting to discuss what to do next.