Date w/ Realtor

Set a date with our realtor, Randy, for Wed. Feb 14, 2007. We're going to have him check out the house to see what needs to be done to get it ready to sell.

I was thinking about everything we've done to improve our duplex:
*over the hood microwave *new windows *exterior paint *sump pump *fireplace doors *some interior paint *landscaping *new kitchen faucet and repaired bathroom faucets

What is left? Floors are a wreck, roof will need replacement sometime soon, deck in back isn't so great, interior painting and wallpaper removal.

My in-laws suggested before we get into repainting and heavy remodeling to have the Realtor come over and check everything out first to see what needs to be done. Last time he came over he said we should make the front look nice, which we've done with the new windows and paint.

My husband and I were working the budget and have been talking about moving, it's stressful to think about. I am praying that God would open doors and shut doors. Sometimes, I don't know how to pray about life changes. I just barge ahead with what I think is right, and I pray for God to stop me or make it very clear if I'm taking the wrong direction. It's so hard sometimes with those gray areas that aren't laid out in Scripture. I know I'm not supposed to commit adultery, murder in my heart, or covet. However, I am not so sure on do we move now to be closer to work to save money on gas and time, or do we wait a little bit until more of our debt is paid off? Or, do we move sooner rather than later so we can put the saved gas money and travel into our debt?

I need to remind myself God is in charge

Funniest SNL Sketch ever

Sometimes I'm a monster

Sometimes with this whole infertility thing I am calm, cool, and collected. Take last weekend for example. Two members of our "covenant group" (like a Bible Study) are pregnant. Most of the night's conversation consisted of breast feeding. I enjoyed the conversation, I wasn't ready to cry, and I didn't say anything rude. One of the pregnant ladies at the beginning of the night asked me about how the adoption process was going, which was nice. I talked a little bit about how I feel badly because China says you can't adopt their children if you're overweight or on anti-depressents. I enjoyed listening to their mommy stories, and I didn't get mad and leave. I was quite amazed at God's grace to me, because that was a particularly hard thing to do, especially since my husband was not with me.

I skip that covenant group sometimes just because I can't handle being around people with kids, because inevitably the conversation turns to birth stories and pregnancy stories. Sometimes, I just want to scream at people and ask them what their problem is. One of my husband's friends, after he told him he was adopting, said "So, you've given up on having one of your own?" WHAT? You mean adopted kids won't be our own? Now, this friend has rubbed me the wrong way the whole time in this adoption process. When I first mentioned to him about adoption, (this was a year or two ago) he said "No, this is way too early for you to think about adoption, there is a lot of other things you need to do first before you adopt, there are lots of fertility clinics around." Okay, Master of my universe. I will get right on that, whatever you say.

So, with him, I'm already on edge, and I am always expecting nasty things to come out of his mouth as far as adoption. I really need to pray more, because whenever he says anything, the monster in me wants to come out and just lay it on him. It's as if he is the master of every adoption cliche that any of us have ever heard. Do you have any ideas for how to respond to this friend?

Friday I went to work and I was in a sassy mood. I have been pretty quiet about the adoption thing, only my husband's family and a few close friends know. I am tired of listening to other people talk about their pregnancies, how they can't sleep at night, and how they heard the baby's heart beat, etc. (I have one pregnant lady that sits by me and another that is friends with someone that is by me, so I hear them both talking all the time.) I want people to know we're going to be getting a baby in a year or maybe a little more! I told my boss, all my co-workers that we're going to start the adoption process once we get moved to Olathe. I asked my boss if it was okay for me to take a photo of myself at work for our home study, he said that was great. Cindy, the same teammate who said that I should adopt a Mexican baby so I could speak with it in Spanish, said "It's exciting. It's like you're expecting a baby but it's just a little different. You're doing it this way rather than getting pregnant." Man, I love that lady. She's only 22 or so but she has said some great things that have made me feel better.

Yep, I'm expecting. We're expecting. And if I need to listen to you tell me stories about breast feeding and how many hours you were in labor, you're going to get stories on paperwork and adoption milestones.

I don't feel like being quiet about this anymore! We're adopting!

slow

Well, haven't gotten an email response from the lawyer, and, frankly, haven't made time to call her. My husband and I are attempting to pay off some debt and discussing getting a lot of our personal belongings in a storage unit. My 30th birthday is in march, so I'm taking a week off that week. All extra furniture needs to be out of here by then so I can repaint!

I guess I get so overwhelmed when I look at all the information we've gotten from various adoption agencies...I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Moving and getting our home ready to sell and organizing our finances is all I can focus on right now.

It doesn't help that almost every night I'm dreaming about babies or children. When I imagine our future children, I imagine adopting older children that I'm speaking Spanish with, isn't that strange? My husband wants to adopt a baby (and I guess I do too) but really, I think I would like an older child.