why do i blog?

I was thinking today, why do I blog? Why do I like these blogs I read so much? (if you are reading this, check out the blogs/websites on my blogrolling...they are all note worthy)

I think the number one reason is a lot of my friends are not going through the infertility thing right now. I've gotten to talk to quite a few women from my church, but a lot of them are not in the midst of it, they have already gone through it and have already adopted or been able to have children naturally. I think it's a good way to hear people's perspetives, and to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly about parenting, especially through Foster Care.

My friend Gretchen said something to me today that made me laugh. Since there seems to be nothing wrong with me and nothing wrong with my husband, she said "They need to get that figured out!" It just made me laugh because it's just so odd, there is nothing wrong, why can't they figure it out? We, as humans, think we are smart, but really, God is so AWESOME that He made all these parts to be able to produce a BABY. Sometimes, even when everything is all perfect and should work, it doesn't. God is in charge!

This is going to sound odd or cruel so please forgive me, especially if you've gone through this scenario: Sometimes I wish I HAD something in specific so some doctor would say "Nope, you can't get pregnant, adoption is it." There is still hope, the best thing for me to do is to keep exercising and continue to lose weight, but there is nothing that is pointing out that I can't get pregnant. No tumors or cysts, I ovulate, and everything is open, my cycles are normal, it's totally unexplainable. It's just weird, then...how do you decide to quit trying and then start adoption papers? I hate this waiting, but it's GOD's choice, not mine, and I need to submit to that.

So, here's the game plan: I am going to pray for my future kids. I remember back in college praying for my future husband, so I'm going to start praying for my future kids. Whether they end up being birthed by me or not, I feel strongly that we're going to be parents one day, either by adoption or by birth. We are going to continue to use the fertility monitor and try to stay on a TIGHT Schedule for 6-8 months, and I'm going to see if I can order some hormone cream my friend Jamie told me about. I would appreciate your prayers on this...I feel as if I'm getting old! We are also looking at buying a bigger home so we have room for kids, and living in that home for a LONG time. I would appreciate prayers and guidance on that. I'd been hoping to get a promotion to move to Illinois where all my friends and family are, but that isn't panning on right now, so we'll probably stay in Lawrence. But prayer for a RAISE so we'll have more money to pay for visits to Illinois would be great, and the opportunity for me to work from home is a possibility. Please pray that I would be faithful in prayer!