Saturday, December 30, 2006

emailed the lawyer!

I know it's the weekend, and the adoption lawyer wasn't in, so I went ahead and emailed her! I have been anxious all weekend, thinking about kids and babies....My husband told me that he was dreaming about babies last night as well. He dreamt that someone from work told him that they knew several moms that needed to give up their babies. I think it's been weighing heavily on our hearts and minds, especially around the holiday season.

I feel so much better doing something rather than just waiting. I blog because I want to talk to other women (and hubbies) who have been there, from all over. I don't feel so alone, and when I hear about moms and their kiddos it gives me hope to keep going and keep plugging away at this big mountain.

Isn't it strange, how weeks will go by, and you won't feel anxious and depressed about infertility, but sometimes it's like this unbearable weight that all you can think about? This week has felt like a ton of bricks. I hate it.

Someone near my cubicle at work is pregnant, so sometimes I hear all my coworkers asking her questions "when are you due, how are you feeling?" etc. I'm happy for people that are expecting, and I pray everything goes well, but I just can't be around pregnant people (which has always been hard at my church...since it's so large, there is always someone or multiple people I know that are pregnant).

Also, whenever groups of women get together, they, naturally, want to talk about children, childbirth, and they compare notes about who had the worst labor, the worst morning sickness, and how busy they are with their children. I just have to walk away from the discussion. I feel like Bridget Jones sometimes, in that scene where she is the only single person in a group of married people, and they look at her as if she is such a weirdo for not being married. I guess we all go through periods in our lives where we feel odd, left out, going through life at a little different pace than everyone else.

A co-worker didn't realize I was married, and she asked me how long I have been married. I answered "6 years in January." Then comes the inevitable question "So, are you guys not going to have kids or you don't want to have kids?" When she asked, it didn't hurt as much as it normally does when people ask me that question. I just said, happily and proudly, "No, we're going to adopt!" Then, she said something I thought was so cute. She's on my team, and all of us speak Spanish in our job. She said "You should adopt a little Mexican baby, there are so many in orphanages, then you can speak Spanish with it!" I didn't point out the fact that most babies don't speak...I just was so tickled that she was just happy for me, and then she said "Man, I would love to adopt kids, I need to get going on that, too! There are just so many kids that need good homes!"

So, if you seek any babies that speak Spanish that need good homes, you know who to refer them to!

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At 10:09 AM, Blogger Lori said...

That's funny! People can say the unthought through things sometimes!!! It was cute! Hang in there. I went through pretty much the same thing as you. I hated being around pregnant women for the longest time, and then God gave me grace and mercy towards them and I can be happy for them!

At 6:54 PM, Blogger Suz said...

I remember so well that decision time and the vivid dreams. It comes throughout the whole process, it doesn't stop once you've got them sleeping down the hall either! I had the strangest dream last night about D!

I look forward to learning what you heard from the adoption attorney:o)

At 11:58 AM, Blogger Starfish said...

Your day will come and it will be awesome. Know what happens? The pregnant people get all jealous of you because you have a beautiful baby and didn't have to go through the physical suckiness of it. Trust me, that's what happens to me now, and I LOVE IT. You're on your way!

At 2:11 PM, Blogger Dones said...

Well, you know if we adopt a little Mexican baby people will find out sooner or later it's not ours, because of his/her accent...


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