Monday, December 11, 2006

some things I've wanted to say....


He is the most wonderful man in the world. We have had a rough year this year (or, the past two years.) We've struggled with infertility, I've gained weight, battled depression. He worked two jobs for a period of time while he was looking for a new full-time position. He's been taking computer classes and is currently working a job that he enjoys, but he knows he doesn't want to be there forever.

This fertility deal is awful, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. When I have had periods of feeling envious of people who have been able to get more easily pregnant, I think to myself "Thank you, Jesus, for not allowing that woman to suffer with infertility. Thank you, Lord, that You are in control of the womb and you bless women with children." It has really turned my heart around; I know God gives this to us for whatever reason, and He, in His sovereignty, has chosen this for us.

Anyway, I am grateful for infertility right now because it's shown me the character of my husband. I have always been afraid of marrying a man that wouldn't stick by me. My husband has been my greatest hero: he has been a rock during this whole process. He has been supportive, caring, and not placed blame on me for us not being able to get pregnant. When I realized how much weight I had gained, and there was no physiological reason for it (ie, I've gained weight the good ol' fashioned way, eating too much and not exercising enough), I was really afraid for our relationship and our marriage.

My husband has been encouraging me to lose weight, but he's never blamed me, never mistreated me, never called me names or threatened to leave. He makes me feel like the most wonderful woman in the world.

Like I said, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I'm grateful that God has shown me how wonderful my husband is throughout this. I am so very, very thankful for that.

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At 9:40 AM, Blogger Stephanie said...

What a lovely post. It takes a special man to deal with the pain of infertility. I too saw my wonderful husbands true colors through it all. It's what makes him such a wonderful dad now.

Just catching up with you now, good luck on your decision to go domestic with an attorney. I look forward to reading about your journey.

At 7:09 PM, Blogger Sig said...

I can't wait to read about your journey.
A good husband is a gem to have. Some of us are so lucky.

At 5:02 PM, Blogger Lori said...

You are handling this way better then I ever could! Way to Go!! Hang in there!!! It is awesome to hear that you are embracing this together and sticking it through good times and bad!!

At 11:14 PM, Blogger Pitypat said...

You visited my blog back in June (june 8) when i found out we were going to be parents through adoption.
you said "I don't even know you and I'm so happy for you two I am CRYING! Congratulations!"
I just was looking back at old posts....and I came upon yours. I know the pain of IF -- 13 years of waiting. It's aweful and unfair---it hurts. God showed us so much through it all. I know now we were waiting for our daughter...the pain is fogotten just like labor pains. God hears your heart...listen to what He's wispering to you....He will fill your heart.


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