some things I've wanted to say....

MY HUSBAND

He is the most wonderful man in the world. We have had a rough year this year (or, the past two years.) We've struggled with infertility, I've gained weight, battled depression. He worked two jobs for a period of time while he was looking for a new full-time position. He's been taking computer classes and is currently working a job that he enjoys, but he knows he doesn't want to be there forever.

This fertility deal is awful, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. When I have had periods of feeling envious of people who have been able to get more easily pregnant, I think to myself "Thank you, Jesus, for not allowing that woman to suffer with infertility. Thank you, Lord, that You are in control of the womb and you bless women with children." It has really turned my heart around; I know God gives this to us for whatever reason, and He, in His sovereignty, has chosen this for us.

Anyway, I am grateful for infertility right now because it's shown me the character of my husband. I have always been afraid of marrying a man that wouldn't stick by me. My husband has been my greatest hero: he has been a rock during this whole process. He has been supportive, caring, and not placed blame on me for us not being able to get pregnant. When I realized how much weight I had gained, and there was no physiological reason for it (ie, I've gained weight the good ol' fashioned way, eating too much and not exercising enough), I was really afraid for our relationship and our marriage.

My husband has been encouraging me to lose weight, but he's never blamed me, never mistreated me, never called me names or threatened to leave. He makes me feel like the most wonderful woman in the world.

Like I said, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I'm grateful that God has shown me how wonderful my husband is throughout this. I am so very, very thankful for that.