Monday, December 05, 2005

Not pregnant what does church have to do with it?

I have been very upset the past couple days. Not weepy, just mad. Wanting to boot-kick my cats and punch my walls mad.

I started my period yesterday, and I really thought this time we might be pregnant. Now, I guess we get to start the doctor visits together and the checkouts and see what is going on with our bodies.

I don't think it's appropriate that my hubby is asking for money on his blog, but maybe I'll use mine to ask for a baby.

I've been very, very down. I'm getting worried about the things I'm thinking about. Between this and having to work a lot, I am very drained. I feel as if no one cares, even though I know that's a selfish, random thought.

Whenever I go through rough times, I always wonder where my church is. I guess that's just me being selfish, that I should consider how I can help and serve others. I feel like since I don't have cancer or I am not jobless I don't matter. I feel as if we're all alone in this infertility/weight/money issue, and since they're not 'serious' no one at the church pays attention. Is that what a church is for? Do I need to call them and say 'hey, I feel like running my car off the road?'
Would they even listen? I feel as if I email my pastors and they really don't seem to care to check up on us. Is that wrong for me to feel bitter and mad? Should we seek another church? Is it my problem because I don't seek out and check on others???


At 7:15 AM, Blogger JamieS said...

Your situation is so hard. People should be there caring for you and supporting you. Church family is supposed to help one another. My suggestion is to look to individuals instead of your church as a whole. Are there individual friends that you can just talk and have pray for you? Are you in a small group? I think it would be quite right for you and hubby to share your whole situation with a pastor. I think it should be both of you that goes and I think you need to be completely honest. Is it possible that they don't know about your infertility issues? I don't know, just asking. Lots of people are married 5 + years before even CONSIDERING having a baby. So, just a thought. My bottom line suggestion is to be as open and honest with some trusted frieds as you feel you can be and then go from there. See how they will hold you up in prayer and encourage you with the Word. And if hubby thinks finding a new church is in order... go for it. ;)

At 3:32 PM, Blogger Dones said...

Quoth the hubby: ;)

I don't see the need to find a new church unless/until we move away. Not sure what to do; perhaps the powers that be which you have spoken to are waiting for the husband to make the needs known. That would be unfortunate, but not out of character for our church, I suppose.

I'll be posting on my own blog later Tuesday about this very thing, so be on the lookout, I guess.

In the meantime, go to bible study on Thursday, check in with every woman in our covenant group about your feelings, and pray for your husband that God will give him wisdom and spur him to action as He sees fit.


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